is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
