i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
