Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
