So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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