Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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