I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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