Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just cut my nipple shaving
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
