I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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