Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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