he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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