Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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