all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
