I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
