I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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