I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
