Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
