after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
