my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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