He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
