Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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