is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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