ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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