After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
