I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
