dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
only you would photoshop your dick
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
