I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
