I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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