Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
