Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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