I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
