Sry I called you an 8
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
