If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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