Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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