we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
In other news, I just burned my penis
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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