We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
