the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
