physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
