i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
