D3 body, D1 cock
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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