lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
