I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
