Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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