is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
