I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
