i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
