well I can't set my house on fire every night
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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