So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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