Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
