Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
