Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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